The Last Chapter Will Break You
They say: “The last chapter, will break you.” The way things are, there are plenty of things that are about to break me. Seems if things just happened in the wrong order, it would snap me in two. However, it might break me into a million pieces too.
There are thoughts, in this mind of mine; that I’m not able to rid myself of. Some of them, are less than kind. This thought: “Get sick and die, no one will ever miss you.” Has been in the back of my mind, for some five years now. It is enough, to drive a man mad. Thus far, I’ve neither gotten sick, nor died. Seems its not possible to will thyself to death.
There are other happier thoughts that I have; however, I’m told, they are all impossible. Well, how about it? Want to make what is impossible possible. Not sure how to do that right now. The way things are going, we want results that work for us.
No one really listens to me. They don’t seem to care, or could not give a shit. And every time, i try talking with them, the conversation never gets the points we can talk about it. Why? Because they shut me down, even trying to get started to talk about it with them.
In the event they read what i write, we could make a lot of progress, in a short period of time. They however, don’t read what i write. Seems to be a point of frustration for me, because I have reason to believe; I’ve communicated those things, clearly.
No one to talk with about what matters to me. And, I’m told that it’s all impossible. Well, why? Want answers. Want good answers. Obviously the world, doesn’t work like i had reason to believe it did. And, that is a problem, because what i think should be, everyone thinks is crazy.
And that makes problems for me. Makes me not want to talk with them about things, because they always tell me my ideas are dumb, or stupid. It feels like i’m being suffocated, and the living life force in me, is going to be snuffed out; because there is no communication.
Want results, that work. People may say: “It’s impossible.” However, I’m going to continue to believe, and dream. I’ve had some experiences in my life, that tells me; there is much these knuckleheads don’t understand.
They wouldn’t believe me about what I did see. They don’t listen, or read. I find that to be a problem. Wish, really and truly; that there was someone to spend some time with me. Feeling pretty low these days. A lot like this last chapter is about to break me. And, it doesn’t seem anyone gives a shit. ??
Want results that work. The results have to be better than this. That much, I’m pretty sure about. Feeling like, damn it. Want love in my life. Want some affection, and some tender care.
And, it feels like love and kindness have become luxury goods in life. And, that is a problem; for everyone here. We want to solve these problems, and make life better for everyone. People have to start to listen to each other.
Seems, everyone is on different pages right now. The fact people only understand, from their point of view; makes it difficult to help them understand me. Most people don’t feel like they have the time to invest in me, to really understand it. And, that is serious problem.
In the event, they would let it sink in with them, then maybe; something could be done about it. Seems the opinion of the human race, may not be worth much. Maybe, I’m wasting my time with trying to explain it to them?
What can a man do? When your not able to change the way things are, and it hurts you when things stay like they are; how do you deal with that? Seems, that good communication, would make it better? It doesn’t seem to work. And that is a major problem. Where there is no communication; there is always a lack of peace.
Because people only understand, from their point of view. And problems come up, when there are mis-understandings; that don’t get resolved. Without communication; how can those matters be fixed? See the problem?