There is a real lack of love in life. It is a problem.
When I feel good about having done something, and want to share it with others, they ignore my efforts, and treat them like they are worthless.
It creates a very vicious cycle. I feel good about creating something, and share it; it gets zero response, and makes me feel like shit. So I assume, that the work wasn’t very good, and practice, and make more. And this process loops, I’m creating, and no one gives a shit.
Which, in turn make me feel bad about myself. Either they don’t care about me as a person; or they don’t like my work. Which makes me feel like they hate me because of my work. It’s a form of abuse.
This constant tearing down they do.
It feels like I’m forced to make myself really small, for them to feel comfortable. And it is suffocating the life out of me. Want some attention in good ways; that promote growth in good ways.
Where is their work?
What I want to know; is where is their ideas? Where is their writing? Where are the movies they have made? Where is their music at? Where are their photographs at?
What have they assembled creatively? What work have they done, to be critical of mine? They likely couldn’t do half of what I’ve done myself. If they could; then where is their work at? I’ve not seen it.
They are critical of my efforts. Yet, what efforts have they put forth? It seems like a damn double bind, they have me in. Want answers to my questions. What gives them the right, to treat me like they do, under whose authority do they have, to treat me like they do?
Don’t like this situation, because the truth of the matter, it’s not correct.